If one was to find out that a friend or a family member is going through a challenging time, there are quite a few things that they could do. They could wind up calling them up, or they could go and see them.
Once they’ve made contact, they could the take the time to discover what has been happening for them. This could be a time when they will only be present, giving another person the opportunity to talk.
The Next Step
After this has occurred, the other person could ask them for their advice or ask them to share their thoughts. Then again, one could share their ideas throughout the time that the other person is speaking.
Towards the end of their time together, they may tell the other person that they are there if they need them. Along with this, they might even say that they will contact them every now and then to see how they are getting on.
What this will show is that you will realise that the other person is an individual, instead of an extension of them. It’ll be clear that there is only so much they can do with this person.
If they were to over step the mark, so to speak, they would wind up trying to do things that this person should be doing for themselves.
They will be only too aware of what they have to take care of in their life, so getting completely consumed in another person’s life is not likely to interest them.
What is likely to play a part here is you will see themselves as a competent human being, and that’s why they see other people in this way. Thus, no matter what this person is going through, they are not likely to become a helpless victim who has to be saved or rescued.
Ready to Assist
Now, this isn’t to say that one wouldn’t be willing to neglect certain parts of their life for a short while if someone they knew needed plenty of support. What it comes down to is that if they were to do something like this, they won’t see themselves as some kind of saviour.
Also, they will know that there will come a point when it is time for them to take a step back, to make sure that they don’t interfere with another person’s life. It may have taken them a little while to get to this point in life.
Alternatively, after one has spoken to a friend or a relative who’s going through a tough time, they could end up telling them what they have to do. Ergo, irrespective of whether they have asked for their help or not, they will give it to them.
Or, they could offer their unsolicited advice before another person has explained exactly what has been going on. The other person is then not going to be regarded as a capable human being, they will be seen as someone who has to be saved/rescued.
A Natural Reaction
If this is the way they see the other person, and they may not even be aware of this, it’s not going to be a lot of surprise for them to behave this way. This will prevent them from realising that they are crossing another person’s boundaries.
Other areas of a person’s life are then going to end up being neglected, in order for them to try to repair the other person. At exactly the same time, one could be in a position where their life is not very fulfilling.
Nevertheless, they could introduce themselves as someone who is powerful and has it completely, just for this to be a facade. Deep down, they might feel incapable and as though they need to be saved.
Their need to attempt and rescue/save another person is then likely to be due to the fact that this individual reminds them of what they have disconnected from within themselves. Solving what’s taking place externally is then a way for them to maintain what is taking place within them .
Out of their need to avoid themselves, they are not going to have the ability to see how destructive their behavior is. Their behavior will also be a way for them to prove to themselves that they are capable, with others a means for them to try to do this.
If the other person was not out of touch with their capability to start with, they might soon end up this way after one has been around them for a little while. One can wind up feeling empowered as a result of another person being dependent on them.
If someone finds that they have the propensity to rescue/save others and that they find it hard to be there for others, it may demonstrate that they are carrying wounds from their early years. To change their behaviour, it will be vital for them to get in touch with the part of themselves that has to be saved.
Through connecting to this part of them and mourning their unmet childhood needs, it can allow them to grow.